How to Change your Life: Time Travel

Hi Friends,

‍

I never know how to start these messages because I want to acknowledge all of the things happening in the world (genocide in Gaza, exponentially increasing climate change, cultural self-selection, inequitable healthcare, and so much more). I also recognize that what I think about these things is more or less irrelevant, and yet not acknowledging them is perpetuating privilege. For me, this has been a fundamental tension of my life - how do I contribute in a way that is impactful, transformative, and aligned with my values?

Ten years ago it was easier for me to spend my days being right about how messed up the world is/other people are, while doing very little to change the things that I could. If I’m really honest, I didn’t think that I had much power to change anything. Instead, I made jokes about it, performed, put up sketch shows, and tried to bring some levity into my world. I also started going to therapy and healing this sense of powerlessness.

Six years ago, I was sitting on my deck, sad about a breakup, completely disengaged from my job, terrified about politics, and ironically joyless after doing a stand-up show when I realized that unless something big changed, I’d spend the rest of my life feeling like this. I called my Dad and said, “I have to change my career. I can’t hate how I spend my time every day.” Two months later, I signed up for a coach training program.

Four years ago today I left my job as an attorney and committed to this path of coaching, leadership development, and transformation. I had no idea a global pandemic was just three months away and that my best laid plans were going to implode as the world shut down. Last year was the first year that I was financially stable after taking that leap.

Today I have a coaching practice serving brilliant, sensitive, thoughtful, impactful leaders around the world, and a recently launched brand new company, AROS, Inc. (a leadership development training program) with Katie Hostasa and Christina Stathopoulis. I’ve worked with 200+ people individually and in groups as a coach and trainer. I produced a podcast that many people have told me is “surprisingly good.”* Most importantly, I really like my life, how I spend my time, and I’m more or less proud of myself.

This is what it looks like to change your life. Nothing changed overnight, but each day brought something new and I started to address my challenges in a new way. I didn’t eradicate racism, solve world hunger, or bring peace to the world, but I did shed my feeling of powerlessness. I also support people in being the change they want to see in the world. So while I don’t directly solve these issues, I work with people who are doing an amazing job of moving the needle. Suddenly, ten years later, my experience of the world is very different even though many of the big issues feel even more complicated than they were in 2013.

Living into this kind of transformation requires commitment, willingness, and a lot of help. I am so grateful to every single one of you for sharing my name over and over with their networks; I would not have the business I have today if it weren’t for you. I’m grateful for my clients for giving me the opportunity to serve them. I’m grateful for my family for helping me stay above water when I was close to going under. I’m grateful for my partners who make this work exponentially more fun. I’m grateful for my coach, therapist, and mentors who have reminded me that I’m not powerless.

My time traveling skills haven’t yet transcended the limitations of physics, so I cannot tell you what things will look like a year or five years from now. What I can tell you is that I’m doing my damn best to build something that supports leaders and trailblazers who invite and create transformation in the world. I am also committed to having that transformation be rooted in love and possibility.

Cheers to whatever is next!